How is it only Wednesday?! Seriously…I feel as though I’ve lived a week in only a few short (yet long) days.
This has been one of the most exhausting weeks I’ve had in a long time. Physically and emotionally. And I couldn’t be happier for it. Without going into specifics, there is a lot going on in the background of my life right now.
If I actually were to sit down and write it all out, there would be a novel to read with so many rabbit trails, I doubt if Alice would be able to find her way to the tea party. Suffice it to say, I’m on a wild ride. Not girls gone wild (unless that show is: a) still on and b) is for 35 year old married women with stretch marks and a butt-load of extra skin from massive babies who go “wild” on coffee dates and crocheting, in which case, I allow you to draw your own conclusions). But wild none-the-less.
God is good. Of this I’ve always known but as of late, I truly believe. I spent a great many years doubting that. I knew he was good, but not necessarily to me. He was good to the people who survived crisis or life-threatening illness or who came out of horrible circumstances and changed the lives of those around them. But he wasn’t necessarily “good” to me. And if I’m being honest, I was rarely good to Him. Funny how that works.
I’m slowly (and I mean sloooooooooooooooowly) coming to realize that there is more. Much more. And that my definition of more and His do not align and have likely never aligned. Being a parent has taught me to look at life through the eyes of my children. It’s taken 3 kids for me to slow down long enough to actually do that. The world through the eyes of a child is an amazing discovery. It’s fresh, it’s innocent, it’s new, it’s crisp. It saddens me that we lose that as we become jaded in the world around us. It saddens me that I’ve lost that and to know that my kids will likely lose that as well. In taking the time to look through my kids eyes, it’s become so very obvious to me that there is goodness everywhere and in every season of life. I’ve had some really tough seasons. I’d even go so far as to say that I’m in a tough season right now because I feel so lost and unsure of what’s in front of me and yet sure of where I need to be going. What???….exactly. There’s something *there*. I don’t know what, when, who, how, where but it’s there. And I have a feeling that it’s going to be a whopper when I finally figure it out. Ironic because I’m already working on a Whopper that I know exactly where I’m going but it’s only part of the big picture. An important part but not the entire thing. It’s mind-blowing when you take the time to listen instead of talk.
How’s that for cryptic