Category Archives: postpartum depression

Dear Liam: 4 years later

Dear Liam,

Wow. 4 years. It’s been a long time already. Hard to believe. Time seems to be passing by faster and faster. Funny how you don’t really believe when people say that and then suddenly, there you are, experiencing it for yourself.

It’s been awhile since I’ve sat down and thought about our time together. I’m sorry for that. I guess sometimes life gets in the way and truth be told, thinking of you still makes me a bit sad. Sad that we didn’t have more time together, sad for your parents who said goodbye to you well before your time and sad that when I hear the laughter and footsteps of my own kids, your cousins, and you don’t come running around the corner laughing right alongside them.

The last 4 years have taught me a lot. They’ve taught me that life does indeed move forward, even if just one moment at a time. I’ve learned that our strength alone is never enough and that true strength to overcome tragedies, like your passing, can only come from God. I’ve had to learn a lot about relying on Him in times when grief and hardships seem too overwhelming. Mostly, I’ve learned that in all bad circumstances, good can come from it, but only if you allow it.

Your death brought on a wave of grief I wasn’t expecting. In many ways, losing you was the catalyst to my struggles with postpartum depression once your cousin arrived, less than 2 months after we laid you rest among the other little lambs who went to Heaven too soon. It took me a long time to find myself again, both as a mom to my boy as well as a sister to a brother who was grieving his son’s loss so heavily. In finding myself, I found my voice and a purpose for the grief and depression that were eating away at my life for so long.

In the New Year, I will be embarking on a new and scary journey to educate and share my story of surviving postpartum depression. I won’t lie and say that I’m not scared because I am. But I know how important it is to help people like me not to fall into that void of helplessness and isolation. I want to make a difference. I want to help. I want to honour the short time you spent in this life by turning the tragedy of losing you into hope to others who struggled with depression the way I did.

Baby Liam, your 39 days with us changed us all in so many ways. And though you’re not with us to celebrate your birthday with your cousins, your brother and your sister, you’re still in our hearts and for that, I am truly grateful and honoured at the time I had with you.

I love you and miss you little man. Happy 4th Birthday.

XOXO

Love,

Auntie Stephie

 

A Letter of Thanks

You’ll remember a few months ago, I posted some giddy excitement about winning a Chariot Carrier from one of my favorite blogs, Another Mother Runner. I got said Chariot a couple of months later and have been waiting and waiting to post about it because I wanted to a) really express my gratitude and b)Continue Reading

Mayhem Monday: My Best Personal Worst Yet!

I haven’t completely lost it, I know it’s actually Tuesday but I was so exhausted when I got home from Grand Forks that all I wanted was to hug and kiss my babies and go to bed. And that’s pretty much was I did. The weekend away was awesome. After the emotions that went intoContinue Reading

The most important speech of my life

The other night, I went to a fundraiser fun run event that a few of my running friends organized. With a recent tragedy over the summer that hit a little to close to home, I was grateful that there were people out there who were so willing to put an event together to raise awarenessContinue Reading

The Real Tragedy of Postpartum Depression

This past week, a very real and very heart-wrenching tragedy struck in my city. Not close to my home but very, very close to my heart. 2 young children were found in their home, unresponsive. Both later died in hospital. Their mother had disappeared. This quiet community and the entire city surrounding it were inContinue Reading

Motivation Monday: Finding Closure

I have been talking a lot about vbacs, natural child birth and my desire to not have a repeat c-section with Fit Baby for months now. I’ve been very excited and eager to get to the point where I could announce the birth of my baby to you all and say “hey I did it!”.Continue Reading

What Makes Fit Mom FitFluential?

When I started this blog nearly 2 years ago, it wasn’t with the intent of inspiring, motivating or even focusing on health and fitness. It was a cry for help. I was a new mom suffering from postpartum depression who was looking for an outlet, a way to find myself, understand myself and figure outContinue Reading

Post-Partum Depression: yes it’s real.

I suffered from and was diagnosed with Post-Partum Depression (PPD) shortly after Fit Boy was born. Many people question it’s validity which really and truly shocks me. Personally speaking, I think it’s tragic that people would rather believe you are a bad parent who doesn’t love your child than someone suffering from mental illness. ButContinue Reading

How Exercise Helped me Cope with Post-Partum Depression

I was in great shape and training for a half marathon when I found out I was pregnant. I had perfect intentions of being active and eating well through my pregnancy. My follow-through was unfortunately not as good as my intentions. I was almost completely sedentary and ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted andContinue Reading

Fit, Fab, Fun-How I learned to Razzle my Dazzle in 2010

2010 was anything but normal for me. 2009 ended with the passing of my dear, sweet nephew on Dec. 31. January started on the premise of new beginnings. I was 36 weeks pregnant, had been sedentary and gained more weight than I should have. I was lost. After my son was born, I battled post-partumContinue Reading