Category Archives: post partum health

Dear Liam: 4 years later

Dear Liam,

Wow. 4 years. It’s been a long time already. Hard to believe. Time seems to be passing by faster and faster. Funny how you don’t really believe when people say that and then suddenly, there you are, experiencing it for yourself.

It’s been awhile since I’ve sat down and thought about our time together. I’m sorry for that. I guess sometimes life gets in the way and truth be told, thinking of you still makes me a bit sad. Sad that we didn’t have more time together, sad for your parents who said goodbye to you well before your time and sad that when I hear the laughter and footsteps of my own kids, your cousins, and you don’t come running around the corner laughing right alongside them.

The last 4 years have taught me a lot. They’ve taught me that life does indeed move forward, even if just one moment at a time. I’ve learned that our strength alone is never enough and that true strength to overcome tragedies, like your passing, can only come from God. I’ve had to learn a lot about relying on Him in times when grief and hardships seem too overwhelming. Mostly, I’ve learned that in all bad circumstances, good can come from it, but only if you allow it.

Your death brought on a wave of grief I wasn’t expecting. In many ways, losing you was the catalyst to my struggles with postpartum depression once your cousin arrived, less than 2 months after we laid you rest among the other little lambs who went to Heaven too soon. It took me a long time to find myself again, both as a mom to my boy as well as a sister to a brother who was grieving his son’s loss so heavily. In finding myself, I found my voice and a purpose for the grief and depression that were eating away at my life for so long.

In the New Year, I will be embarking on a new and scary journey to educate and share my story of surviving postpartum depression. I won’t lie and say that I’m not scared because I am. But I know how important it is to help people like me not to fall into that void of helplessness and isolation. I want to make a difference. I want to help. I want to honour the short time you spent in this life by turning the tragedy of losing you into hope to others who struggled with depression the way I did.

Baby Liam, your 39 days with us changed us all in so many ways. And though you’re not with us to celebrate your birthday with your cousins, your brother and your sister, you’re still in our hearts and for that, I am truly grateful and honoured at the time I had with you.

I love you and miss you little man. Happy 4th Birthday.

XOXO

Love,

Auntie Stephie

 

A Letter of Thanks

You’ll remember a few months ago, I posted some giddy excitement about winning a Chariot Carrier from one of my favorite blogs, Another Mother Runner. I got said Chariot a couple of months later and have been waiting and waiting to post about it because I wanted to a) really express my gratitude and b)Continue Reading

The Real Tragedy of Postpartum Depression

This past week, a very real and very heart-wrenching tragedy struck in my city. Not close to my home but very, very close to my heart. 2 young children were found in their home, unresponsive. Both later died in hospital. Their mother had disappeared. This quiet community and the entire city surrounding it were inContinue Reading

How I Stay Active with Diastasis Recti

I’ve gotten a ton of emails lately asking for my advice on Diastasis Recti and how to get back into doing various physical activities when you have it. Let me first tell you that I am NOT a professional by any means. Anything that I write about or talk about pertaining to myself is strictlyContinue Reading

Running after Baby, how I got my Mojo Back

After having Baby O in February and being off running for nearly 6 months, I was dreading returning to running as much as I was looking forward to it. I knew I would be starting slow, essentially from scratch to try and build my endurance back up. My first runs back were tough and thereContinue Reading

Running and Exercising with Diastasis Recti

I used to be big into core work. Lots of planks, crunches, you name it. I was all about having the coveted six-pack abs. Then I had kids. My abs went missing. And instead I was left with a saggy stomach that pooched up in the center like my skin was pitching a tent. IfContinue Reading

Body After Baby: Living by MY Limits

My first big fitness triumph after Baby O was born was getting back to exercising after so many weeks of not being able to (and in all honesty, not wanting to). It was both hard and humbling knowing where I’d been and that I was essentially starting at scratch again. My body after baby wasContinue Reading

Body After Baby: 6.5 month check in

So I may have forgotten to post my progress shots a couple of weeks ago but rest assured, I (finally) got them done! I don’t really notice much difference anymore. With my focus being on running, I haven’t spent a lot of time strength training. I plan on changing that as soon as my half-marathonContinue Reading

Body After Baby: The Unwelcome Aunt

After last week’s germ-filled, motivation-lacking extravaganza, I’m happy to say I’m starting this week off a bit better.  Yesterday while the women’s semi-final soccer game was on (what a finish?! My heart broke for my fellow Canadian women but it was a great game and I am so proud of our girls for playing their heartsContinue Reading

Firing up my Running and Swimming Mojo

I don’t know about other moms out there but when I leave to go for a run or swimming, my hubby gives me this look that is a cross between resentment that I’m going and deer in headlights that I’m leaving him with two young kids. Maybe I’m a sucker or maybe my guilty consciousContinue Reading