This is the last week my oldest is in school. Hard to believe that in a few short days, I will have a preschool graduate. I’m not anticipating being overly weepy at his concert because I’m not really the type to get that emotional (or maybe I’m in denial and am going to be eating my words like an oversized bowl of poutine…) but this is definitely a milestone.
I’m quickly becoming aware of just how quickly the time is going by and how fast my boy is growing up. How quickly all my kids are growing up. The progression has been gradual but it’s really becoming clear to me that with every passing day, month, year, I lose a bit more of my sweet boy (and soon his brother and sister too) to the world. That’s a bit frightening to me.
Before long, he’ll be exposed to the world without me by his side to guide him. He’ll experience his first disappointments unsheltered from my comforting words, his first taste of the unfairness of the world and very likely, he’ll eventually understand how the world labels everything, for better or for worse and he could just as easily be labeled in a way that might stick with him for life.
Now I realize that at the age of 5 and going into kindergarten, he will still be very naive to a lot of what the world has to offer and take from him but as his mother, I know his heart. I know his pains and I know that he’s still close enough to me that I can protect him. But it won’t always be that way. One day, he’ll have to face things, just as I did and those are the things that could shape parts of him for the rest of his life. That’s both encouraging and scary all at the same time.
God is our refuge
I know my biggest prayer for him is protection from brokenness. As someone who’s spent a large part of her life buried under a layer of brokenness I’m only beginning to understand, my heart cries for my sweet little boy and the world that he’s going to be exposed to. As much as I want to protect him forever, I know that at some point, he needs to see the world and experience it, heart breaks, triumphs and disappointments alike. I also know that try as I may, he will hurt, he will cry and that as some point, I will be the source of some of that disappointment. I can only pray for him and trust in God to walk through life alongside him and that my boy will receive that protection and love from His heavenly father each and every day.
So as we approach the end of this preschool year and look ahead to kindergarten, I will continue to marvel at my boy and the amazing little man he is already becoming.