Well, time for another body after baby update because somehow, another 4 weeks have passed and a lot of changes have taken place in the last few weeks.
I had my final postpartum check up at the 8 week mark and was told that everything was healing very nicely and that my scar would gradually fade and the residual swelling would settle over the coming months. For the most part, I don’t really notice it except for when my core is fatigued, usually at the end of the day if I’ve been on the treadmill or worked out during the day. Otherwise, I really don’t notice it at all. A far cry from a few weeks ago when if felt like I would never get passed that post-surgery state.
If you follow along here regularly, you know that I’m actively working at heart-rate training and doing 2 weekly workouts at a local gym (follow along in my Friday posts for my updates on that venture). So far everything feels great and though my body is weak, I know I’m working toward regaining some of that strength as I slowly heal my core and am able to be more functional without worry about my core or back.
I’ve had a huge relief from the anxiety I was getting from time to time and most days, have no signs of postpartum depression. Some days I feel really down and insecure but for the most part, I’m content and doing my best to stay proactive with how I’m feeling and making sure I don’t slip into a hole I may have trouble climbing out of.
I’d say overall, I’m happy with where things are at. I can now fit into a pair of my pre-pregnancy jeans which is awesome and though not overly important in the grand scheme of things, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t give me a boost of confidence (not to mention more than one pair of pants to wear) .
The one thing that continues to bother me, no matter how much I try to tell myself that it shouldn’t matter is that darn mummy tummy pooch. I absolutely hate it. I hate the way it looks. I hate the way it makes me feel and I really hate the way I let it bother me when it shouldn’t. And yet it does. It sticks out all the dang time. I look pregnant, I feel gross and I just want it to go away so I don’t feel too self conscious about wearing certain clothes or that I have to keep my arms crossed in front of my stomach to try and hide it. I know a lot of it is from a weak core and my diastisis recti. I know that in time it will hopefully not be so bad and that it’s only been 12 weeks since I had a freaking baby so it’s kind of a normal thing. Ugh. I need a swift kick in the pants when I start feeling down on something so vain but in the spirit of honesty and vulnerability, I’ve shed some tears over it because (to me) it’s unsightly. It’s also worse at the end of the day when my stomach has food in it vs the morning when it’s empty.
Blah, enough about that crapola. Let’s finish off on a high note, shall we?
My goals for the next 4 weeks is to continue eating well, working on getting enough good calories into me on a daily basis, especially to fuel me to workout and run AND feed a ravenous baby (my word…she’s a bottomless pit). I also need to focus a lot less on stupidly insignificant things like my protruding belly and celebrate being healthy and enjoying life.