I can’t seem to find the words to really describe every emotion that I felt during Saturday’s half marathon and even in the days leading up to it. I think I felt the entire rainbow of emotions from good to bad but today, I’m focusing on the good. The great actually.
Saturday morning was cold, temps just above freezing and cloudy. It rained almost all week long so the air was chilled. I decided to go risky and wear my fan-tabulous Under Amour compression capris (seriously the best capri’s I have ever owned!), my awesome Sweat Pink tank and my also awesome Lululemon arm warmers (like leg warmers but without the slouchy-slouch…seriously…they’re cool. Trust me on that). I figured I’d be cold but would warm up along the run and then freeze my butt off when I finished but wouldn’t care because I have no training planned for this week so if I get sick, so be it (yeah, I know…calling the logic police!).
My awesome run buddy came and picked me up and rather than be a basket case of nerves like I usually am, I was calm. I didn’t waste time wishing I’d done more because even if I could have, I didn’t and that didn’t change anything for today. I felt good. As we got closer to the race, I got excited. My second half marathon, this time, I actually trained for it this time!! And I had an awesome buddy to keep me company for all 21.1km of my journey. (I also realized I forgot my phone on the charger at home and have zero picks until the finish line…doh!)
As the horn blasted and we set out, I felt great. I’ll talk more about the actual race and my major bonk at mile 11 and whimpy girl-crying at mile 13 another day. For now, I really want to talk about how proud I am of myself for getting to this point and why I feel the need to put it out there for you because I really want you to understand how passionate I am about this journey that I’m on.
I had lofty goals for this race. Not because I had something to prove and not because I felt that I needed to be all badass and show off. This race, and this journey is a road of self-discovery and self-acceptance. It’s about asking myself “can I do this” and answering “why not?”. It’s about taking a vision and turning it into a plan. It’s about taking lack of motivation and turning it into inspiration. It’s about taking my limits and pushing beyond them. It’s about finishing what I started.
Saturday, I finished something I started 6 months ago: to start running from scratch after having my second baby and work my way back up to a half marathon. The day after my sweet Baby O turned 8 months, I accomplished that. Did I meet all my lofty goals? No, I didn’t. Do I wish I could have done it differently? Not for a second.
These past 6 months have been more than just the physical training and commitment. It’s been about deepening my relationship with myself as a wife, mother, friend, sister, aunt etc. I don’t define me by what others say or expect or what society thinks is “normal”.
To Be Continued…