Like many of you, I have been anticipating a new show on A&E called “Heavy” which chronicles 22 people struggling with obesity and the various health problems resulting from their weight. The premise is that each week, we’ll follow the journey of 2 individuals who spend 1 month in a supervised weight loss facility and another 5 months continuing their weight loss at home amidst their every day lives. If they struggle and/or start to gain weight again, they go back to the facility for additional help.
I was cautiously optimistic when I hit the play button on my PVR.
I was very sad watching “Heavy”. I believe in accountability and that we are all responsible for our actions and decisions. But I also know that once you get caught in a vicious cycle of unhealthy behaviour, be it overeating, starvation, excess abuse of alcohol, or drug, it can become impossible for an individual to overcome it without support and help.
What really stuck with me long after I finished watching the first episode was this comment from Jodi that said “No fat person wants to be trained by a trainer who has never been fat”. My heart really felt for her and for many others in that moment and for a long time after.
Having never been heavy (outside of my 50 pound pregnancy weight gain), I don’t understand what it’s like to be heavy. I can’t because I haven’t walked in those shoes. But does that mean that my help, support and encouragement are viewed negatively or unwelcome? I really hope not. In watching her and the other 3 people profiled (I’ve still got one more episode to watch on my PVR) and their interactions with the trainers, I see people who want to support and cheer them on. I see encouragement and respect being shown. I was very happy to see what looked like a changed attitude toward the trainers by the end of Jodi’s 6 months.
I would have loved to sit down with Jodi and talk about that statement and uncover the roots for which that thought was planted. Is it because people like myself don’t know what it’s like to walk in those shoes? Or is there a pre-conceived opinion that some things come easily to some while others spend a lifetime struggling. Or maybe it’s something all together different.
I have to say that in watching the first two episodes, I could see these trainers had a heart for helping and encouraging. This isn’t always the case. I’ve seen other weight loss reality shows where the trainers have a clear distain and lack of heart for those they are training and that angers me. As a post-partum depression survivor, I had many professionals and even some friends look down on me and tell me repeatedly that I was the problem and not a good mother because I was struggling. I also had a few people who loved on me and supported me until I found my way out of that fog. These were people that didn’t know PPD or what it can do to a mother’s mental condition.
I guess it goes both ways.
What do you think? Do you need to have walked the path? Are you more likely to open up, listen to and be supported by someone who knows what you’re going through or are you encouraged by anyone who shows unconditional support and encouragement? And finally, what do you think of “Heavy” now that we’re a few episodes in?
I saw the show with Jodi too. I can kind of understand what she was saying, and I think it was more embarrassment and anger at herself that made her say that.
There is something to be said for having been in a place where someone was and getting through that. It’s great motivation and shows people how far they can get.
Thanks for your thoughtful review!!!
There’s definitely an element of truth to it all. When you only have your own life and experiences to go by, sometimes it’s hard to get past past pains and trust issues because it means being vulnerable which is hard when you don’t have someone that really understands what you’re feeling and going through.
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I really like the show. The trainers are great and you can tell they really care. I like this show a lot more than the one that has people losing 90 lbs in 90 days. Very scary! Great review!
Thanks. I really got that impression to. There is an element of tough love involved but it’s not an over-the-top threatening approach that you see in so many other venues.
Heavy just made my radar in the last few days and I have not had a chance to see it yet.
I have a good deal of opinions about people walking the path who now professionally work to assist others. I just hope they have sought professional reconciliation for whatever led to their obesity. The vast majority of severe obesity is largely due to psychological maladies like depression and addiction. All I ever hope for is that whoever is working with people that are in need of more than just physical training are balanced with their own issues. What people dealing with the cycle of physical and psychological issues are in need of is expertise and true compassion that focuses on the client. That compassion is best served from balanced advisers.
Well put. I love that you can always give such a thoughtful perspective on issues that get me thinking even harder about stuff. It’s such a mixed bag of emotional and physical issues. I’m curious to hear your thoughts if you have a chance to watch the show.
Being overweight myself, I can say that it’s hard to trust tips and info from someone that hasn’t been in my shoes. To paraphrase something I’ve seen out there on the web, the general attitude of most non-fatties is “I eat as much as I want, don’t work out, and have never been fat, and I think fat people just need to eat less and work out more”. I know that’s not everyone, but I would want a trainer that at least has to work at being in shape, not someone naturally fit who read in a book once that fat people need to work out more.
I totally get that. I’ve seen that mentality out there. A lot. It’s sad because statements like that are so deflating on so many levels. It implies that overweight people just need to move more, eat less and problem solved which does have some truth to it but is so simplistic, I feel it really overshadows how difficult it really is. On the flip side, there is a big misconception that thin people are naturally fit and healthy, which in my own life and experiences, I know is not the case at all. It ends up almost as an us vs. them when really, we should all be able to work together to better ourselves and support each other. Or possibly, I’m more naive than I realize and live in a world where unicorns ride rainbows.
Thanks for sharing and stopping by. Every opinion is a valued one and only works to helps us understand one another better. Have a great weekend
You know, I’ve had this post open since the 28th and I’ve been trying to figure out how to best formulate my response and all I can keep thinking of are my own person experiences.
When I was 20, I went 3 months without having a period and put on a huge amount of weight. In fact, I went up 3 clothing sizes in that same period of time. My gp couldn’t find anything wrong with me and so he sent me to an ob/gyn. She took one look at me and said it’s because you’re obese. She didn’t even listen to what I was telling her. I have never lost that weight.
When I was about 30, I fell down a set of school bus steps and followed that up with back strain from a near collision. My doctor put me on pain killers and anti-inflamatories. I then moved and changed doctors. My doctor was this tiny, skinny little thing and again, without really listening, she told me that every problem I had was because of my weight. I had asthma (which I was born with) because of my weight. I had back problems (which I hadn’t had before the things that had just happened) because of my weight.
It frustrated me because I felt like both of these doctors weren’t listening to me and couldn’t relate to me at all. The thought of having a trainer who had never been there is a scary thought but I hope that I’d be open minded enough to see that they just wanted to help me. I would also hope that they would be open minded enough to treat me as an individual, not “just another fat person.”
Thank you so much for posting such an honest in heart felt response. It really burns me to hear anyone having experiences like that because in my mind, there is absolutely no reason for it. I am a firm believer that we can, and should be able to understand each other no matter the circumstance but I also know the sting of not having that understanding, in my case when it came to my post-partum depression and how traumatizing that can be (and was for me). I sincerely believe that there are those wonderful and understanding people out there and I hope that the sour apples that we encounter don’t dictate the standard for everyone. Thanks again for your comment. Have a fantastic day and know that you are a beautiful person and deserve to be treated as such.
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